Today I’ll Be A CAT
And I’m awake.
Damn that was a good dream. I really, really, didn't want to leave it. I mean That readhead...and the jiggle. Oh yessss. The Jiggle. Gawd!
Oh. Well.
I’m awake. Might as well make the most of it. Time for coffee.
Viewpoint coalesces to the inside a coffee house...A Large mug of coffee being drank and large screen tablet style computer being viewed. Caffeine infuses into the bloodstream, level of alertness increases...the dream fades...sadly...one last jiggle slowly vanishes…..
Has anything of interest happened while I was asleep that I need to concern myself with? Let’s see.
A window opens on the Tablet. Stories from a multitude of Blogs, News Services, Info Raiders, DataMiners, even FascistBook (yes...he plays in that sandbox) and various other information sources present themselves in order of pre-programmed interest.
Nope, nada, zilch. Nothing has changed much since yesterday except for the date.
GroundSide news is checked….
Hmmmmmm….I’ll be damned. The Middle East is still there. Still. Gotta give them Jews credit for being patient. They’ve not blown their nasty neighbors to sub atomic particles...yet. It’s hard to imagine how they restrain themselves.
Economic news...A program is run stripping all the fluff and showing bare bones facts. The facts are correlated with other facts. Charts are drawn and summarized.. The results are the same as they have been for two hundred years..
The Standard of living is up. People are living longer, healthier safer lives. Population is stabilizing. The Rich are getting richer, the middle class are getting richer, the poor are getting richer. Still.
Real wealth is increasing. The rate of technological change is increasing .it’s almost gone asymptotic. Gee..big surprise.
And yet...and yet...everyone is whining like it’s the end of the world.
Does anyone pay attention?
Technical news is surveyed...some days it’s the good stuff and he saves it for towards the last. Best to have a positive attitude when starting the day.
It’s been a bunch of years since they discovered the Higgs Boson and what have they done with that knowledge? Not a damn thing…..
………..AirCars…<yawn> old news. Once everything was fully automated all the “fun” went away. Forty thousand annual highway deaths went away also so they shouldn’t complain.
……….on the positive side...engineering and development of Utility Fog is ongoing...I wonder how big those foglets can be and still be useful? Small enough to float on air I would suspect. Would they be useful in micro-gee? Seems like.
Hmmmmmmmm….level one AI is at a roadblock… it might never fly...well damn..
………..genetic engineering is humming right along YES! . More GMO’s.
And finally...the most interesting for last...
Let’s see how all my Webcomics are doing….hmmmmmmmmmmm
A number of web comics are viewed...some new ones are added...old ones lose their appeal and are discarded...some simply quit publication.
Ah that first pot of coffee is the best. I think I’ll eat something. What will it be? Yes!..JUST the thing. I think I’ll be a cat for a while. I’ll hunt my breakfast today.
Window on tablet computer opens with menu of cats.
I see a decent variety of cats. There are Egyptian Maus, Bombays, Nebelungs, Serengetis, and even some exotics. There are also the native Texas cats, cougars, bobcats, jaguar and even a jaguarundi. Oh look! There’s an import...a caracal.
That settles it. I’ll have Pheasant for breakfast.
Personna and viewpoint merge to that of a caracal male. Now viewing the world from the viewpoint of a medium size cat.
Ok...I’ll admit it. I’m a killer. I like to KILL. I’m not much of a hunter though. Hunting is work. Hunting is time consuming. Lucky for me that can be fixed….let’s see.
A heads up display appears in the cat’s vision. An area scan is displayed. Quail, rabbits, deer, wild cattle...they all appear on the scan . It takes but a minute however and Pheasants are identified and located , the cat vectors toward them.
AH! Just what I want. A nice plump male. I’m feeling hungry today...a female would be too small.
The Caracal Tom carefully stalks the Pheasant Cock . The cat gets closer and closer. The bird turns to stare in the direction of the creeping cat and the cat freezes. The bird is not great at pattern recognition and mostly see movement...it doesn’t see the cat. Shortly the bird looks away and the cat continues to move closer. Soon only yards separate the two. Something spooks the bird and it launches...wings blurr as the bird claws franticly for altitude. There are other claws in it’s brief future.
The cat also moves in a blur. One short bound and then a prodigious leap. The cat also launches. It surges ten foot or more into the air and snags the unlucky bird...they both fall to the ground, twisting on the way down. The cat, naturally, lands on it’s feet. The bird is lunch.
In the control center liquid food courses thru tubes. The brain is fed . He is unaware and unconscious of the actual method in which he is fed. From his (virtual) viewpoint he is enjoying warm, bloody pheasant. He spits a feather or two out but crunches the bones. Nourishment requirements are met. Various bio-indicators stabilize at optimum. The man and the cat are satiated, in other words the man FEELS like he has a full belly.
Ah...that was good. Huh! I think I’ll take a nap. Let’s see...a want a patch of sunlight...off the ground would be nice.
A nearby tree is scrutinized. A nice firm horizontal branch is located. The cat easily makes the leap. It stretches out on the branch and naps..
An hour or so later the man arouses. The cat’s still out of it. Individual cats sleep eighteen to twenty hours a day. Not so men. The man decides to choose another cat. He once more accesses the virtual window and makes a selection of nearby cyber cats...
I’ll choose that Bombay..
SQUIRREL! The coal black bombay spots the brown squirrel and gives chase. The feline bounds across the grass right behind the frantically running rodent.
Heh! Almost got it. There it goes. TREE!!
The rodent hits the trunk at a dead run and spirals up the tree. The cat is right behind it, snapping at the rodent’s tail, having fun. Not hungry...playing with it’s ‘food”. The rodent claws for altitude and seeks the small branches and twigs at the very crown of the trees. The heavier cat is thus defeated.
Ohhh...this is scary. The twigs and branches are bending under my weight and the wind is blowwwwwing….ooooh…
The cat can’t maneuver through the small limbs of the upper canopy as well as the squirrel...and thus the squirrel survives another day.
Damn Tree Rat...heh. I guess it got away from me. Again.
The Bombay finds a horizontal limb and lays on it...he stretches out in the sun. The man’s metabolism has been stimulated just as if he had been doing exercise.
That was good. A little news, a little breakfast, a nap and a little exercise.. Now I think I’ll do a movie. Let’s see….which one, which one. There’s only about a million. Do I want to be a male or a female hero today..or maybe a villain? hmmm.
I think I’ll be Rhett Butler in “Gone With the Wind”...........
ViewPoint shift….male human in antebellum South. The War Of Northern Aggression is beginning……….an enjoyable few hours of subjective time passes…High Five .(Holistically Integrated Graphically Haptic Full Immersion Virtual Entertainment)
...can last as long or be as brief as desired. Episodes and adventures can extend from a couple of hours to permanent engagement. Some of the residents of the Rest Home are permanently engaged. He decided to just use the afternoon. . Being Rhett Butler to Scarlett O’hara was lots of fun
“..........Frankly my dear...I don’t give a damn…”
………...but enough was enough. Moment’s later it was over
It’s five o’clock somewhere. Lemme see.
“dials” phone.
“Yo. George...whatcha got going? “
“Nothing? Me neither. Want to go for a ride? We can stop at Sarah’s Diner. Swell. How bout the other two old coots? Great. I’ll be over in two shakes of a lambs tail. Seeya.”
And the viewpoint shifts...now he’s a burly bearded biker on a harley. Wind is blowing through his long hair as he rolls down a path and pull up in front of a church. It’s a Catholic Church and a Priest walks out.
“How may I help you my son” intones the priest.
“Cut the crap Charlie, get your scooter and let’s ride”...I say then
<ping! Ping! PING!>
Oh shit. “Sorry Charlie. A prior appointment I forgot about. I gotta go. Some other time” and I vanish.
Poor protocol that. One does not just ride into Mordor...and then vanish. But I’m in a hurry.
The bombay cat, on the tree branch overhanging the front sidewalk, opens it’s eyes from it’s nap. It stretches as cats are wont to do. Below him an autonomous vehicle stops at the curb. Numerous people disembark. Many of them children.
Dammit Boy….they’re visiting in real life today. And they're almost here NOW. Must be something special…I wonder what it is?
The doors as they reach it and his words speak from the PA.
“Come on in kids...be right with you. Sit down and make yourself comfortable.’
The older ones herd the younger ones into the ‘living room’. They politely arrange themselves among the several chairs facing one wall. That side of the room seems a bit foggy for some reason. An, but not too old, man walks thru the door,using a cane. He sits on a chair and faces the group of his progeny.
They all break into song, the little rats had planned this.
“Happy Birth day to you.
Happy Birth day to you.
Happy Birth day dear Gran Pa.
Happy Birth Day to You.”
Side doors open and autonomous trolleys roll in. Robot arms serve cake and ice cream to all the corporeal beings. The same thing happens on his side of the room too. The rascals had co-opted management. Pretty cool.
So he had cake and ice cream with his progeny. For the next few hours they have a pleasant visit. Stories are told and each catches up with how the other is doing. Then it’s time to go.
One of my little ones...a toddler...runs toward me. “granpa granpa...I want a hug”...and runs right thru me. Sad to say but holograms projected on mist have little meat to them.
I look at my great grand son and shrug. “Sorry Filbert. I’m kinda thin today. ”.
He laughed at my joke.
“That’s ok Granpa..I’ll explain it to her on the way home’ he picked up the confused little girl.
“We have to go now...see you later”.
They left. That had been nice. He wondered how his great great great (or something) grandson would break the news to his great, great , great (or something, sheesh) grand daughter.
I’d been in that HIGH FIVE facility for old folks for a hundred years now...heh heh. Best move I ever made. It beats tottering around on a cane and wearing a diaper, at my age. I could care less that my organic body is actually in a big drawer with tube and wires stuck to it. As far as I’m concerned I have more freedom now that normal people.
The two hundred year old man’s “soul’ flashed back to Mordor to complete his motorcycle ride.
“Come on Charlie. Get your ass in gear and let’s RIDE!!”
***************
The Truck ....Troglodyte...a 2000 model Kenworth W900B. Over a million miles and still snarly. Can out pull and out run half the new trucks on the road. 550 Kitty Cat (3406E...the last REAL engine) under the hood. An 18 speed transmission with 4.11 rears)...can only go 80 but can do that pulling a hundred grand load.
Hauling Iron. Generally Cat. Although Terex, Grove ,Manitowoc, Deere and others are not turned away.
