GreyBeard Dreaming

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Same Sex Siblings




Same Sex Siblings

Dirk fell out of bed.  Literally, fell out... of bed.  He’d been having one of his nightmares. It was a particularly nasty one involving girls, cucumbers, centipedes and turnips.  He wasn’t too happy about the centipedes...he’d has some nasty experiences with them.  However...he positively HATED cucumbers and turnips.  Vegetables was what food ate.  The girls?....yeah...the girls....what was it with the girls? Couldn’t hardly remember,  Dreams fade so rapidly.... Oh. Well.  

So, since he couldn’t sleep he might as well get up.  Dirk put on a pair of shorts, some conventional legs, and a vest  and wandered toward his work room.  On the way he stopped and fed momma kitty, the big white cat formerly known as Hillary.  Now that she was a mother he couldn’t shoot her...and she had mellowed some..  She had kittens in a most convenient place... ...she thought that one of the sinks was a fabulous place to give birth.  On further thought he supposed it was.  It’d be easy to clean up that was for sure.

Dirk poured himself a cup of corrosive black coffee...it’d been heating all night...added a generous dose of Kulula to it and stood there playing with the baby kittens...lost in thought.  Idly he ‘sexed’ the kittens....see how many boys and how many girls...

Mamma....Girls in the dream.  Females.  …...all the kittens were females....

Hummmmmm

Tex knew that sound and immediately ducked and covered.  

Luckily for Tex Dirk wasn’t thinking about anything that would involve Tex....this time.

Dirk sat down at his computer and began to do some research. Hmm...this was interesting....

Very much later, early the next morning in fact, Dirk still at his computer , but with fresh coffee , placed a call.

Shortly a VERY grumpy Sgt. Strangler answered.

“You! “ Grumbled Strangler....”have you any IDEA what time it is?”

Dirk looked surprised.  “Uh...actually no....”

“Figures” said the Sgt...pouring himself a cup of coffee and then splashing a generous dollop of whisky in it.  He held the cup up toward Dirk as if toasting...Dirk returned the gesture.

They both took a long swallow of their respective brews.

“Ahhhhhhh.....so what do I owe the dubious pleasure of seeing your ugly face this time of …...” Sgt. Strangler looked at the clock and winced....”  very, very  early morning...”

“I’ve been thinking” began Dirk..grinning a bit when Strangler theatrically gasped and cringed....

“Yes...it’s true “ said Dirk. “ I’m  actually attempting to earn some of that money you guys have lavished upon me.”.

“So what, if I may ask” said Strangler “ have you been thinking about that would cause you to call me this time of night”

“Sex” said Dirk....completely deadpan.

“You’re not my type” said Strangler equally deadpan.

“Cute” said Dirk with a sly grin” ..but to business.  Have you ever known a family in which all the children were one sex.  For example...all girls?”

Mildly surprised by the turn of the topic of conversation  Sgt. Strangler frowned a bit as he took a sip of his coffee. “As a matter of fact yes.  A neighbor of ours had all girls.  Four of them. The father often joked that when “that time” of the month rolled around he went fishing”..

Frowning in sympathy Dirk also sipped his coffee “ohhhh....I can see where that might be a problem.  Hadn’t thought of that”.

Strangler looked at Dirk “ So?” he asked.

“It occurs to me that something must cause that to happen” said Dirk.  “Statistically that’s unlikely. Like flipping a coin and getting four straight heads. Possible..but unlikely. When it happens, therefore, one would assume something made it happen.”

Dirk took another sip of his vile brew....” so I did a little research this morning....and it turns out there’s this protein...and it turns out the protein has a certain very interesting effect...and it turns out there’s this enzyme...and there just happens to be a retrovirus...and what do you know...the retrovirus can be transmitted via insect bite...and...”

Strangler held up his hand...” You lost me Dirk....give me the Executive summary”

Dirk looked mildly startled...he’d thought that he was being very clear and informative....he blinked and then said...”I can develop and produce  an insect vectored serum that will cause a woman to have all girl children...and for all her daughters to produce only girls...two generations if need be....perhaps longer”

Strangler choked and sprayed the com screen with coffee.

*****

Later that day in Headquarters, Strangler was being grilled by his boss.

“So let me get this right” said the Colonel...glaring at Strangler.

“Our pet genius has come up with a spray....”

“er..no sir” Said Strangler...hating to interrupt but knowing from experience that misinformation needed to be stopped as soon as possible ...before it bred.  “ It’s not a spray....he’s found a way to infect biting insects”...

“oh” Said the Colonel with a look of supreme disgust on his face..” and the bite of the infected  insect aborts male babies?”

“not exactly”  said Strangler  “ that’s the effect...but specifically the male eggs never get fertilized....there’s technically nothing TO abort.  Only the female’s eggs are fertilized”

“I suppose that’s better...a little” said the Colonel...rubbing his face wearily.  “Do you know how dangerous this is?  Suppose it got loose.  We  might go....how many generations did you say before it wore off” he glared at Strangler.

“Two sir...” sighed Strangler...” or worse case scenario three....or four maybe”.

Four Generations of nothing but Female babies.  The Colonel just glared....and took a large gulp of Coffee...it had been a long day and it wasn’t getting any shorter.

“Of course” said Strangler “any ingestion of pork protein in the male completely negates the process....bacon in particular..”

….........the Colonel spewed his coffee across the room.